Embarrassment

Yesterday one of the results of my fatigue was exposed. For the length of our parenting, I almost daily inspected our children's rooms to make sure they were not harboring unique science experiments or nuclear devices--and that you could walk into the room without feeling you were in a Boot Camp obstacle course. Though I do not have perfectionist standards about bedroom tidiness, I did want the rooms pick-upped and the beds made. I think this is especially helpful to those who homeschool and also to my children's future spouses. However, since fatigue is my almost constant companion these past 18 months, my inspections are less frequent, especially since getting our master-bed straightened has not been a high priority. So leads to my point of embarrassment yesterday. Four men from church were helping us move out of our basement because of some upcoming construction/repair work. They tackled one of our son's rooms and discovered many corners where items had been stuffed. These corners reminded me of Mary Poppin's carpet bag that kept producing things. Unfortunately, we did not have Mary Poppin's snapping capabilities. The men were good humored about the situation, but I was embarrassed. Since then, God has been reminding me very gently that He is not done with any of us, yet. Each of us are learning. My husband is very good at reminding me that though we try to be very proactive in our children's lives, there are many things others will teach them in the future. We do not need to do it all. Then I remembered some of our older children who applied our cleaning standards to their own homes--once they set up their own homes. I still chuckle when they correct one of their siblings a piece of clothing they left out. Mostly, I am reminded that God does not ignore the garbage in my life. He knows where I tuck it and He will expose it at just the right time. This year one of the ways I committed myself to know God better and enjoy Him forever is to be more diligent of asking God to expose my sin to me and that I would be quick to confess it. Somehow, in comparison, the mess in my son's closet does not look quite so bad or embarrassing. (But he still has to clean it up!) Please Lord, forgive me for being embarrassed over something temporal when I have failed to be embarrassed over something that damages my relationship with you. Thanks for exposing my garbage and covering it with Your grace. Amen.