Will it help?

Recently I had the honor of helping a friend. Her brother-in-law was killed in Afghanistan, fighting to protect our freedom. http://icaskey.wordpress.com/2010/06/27/the-cost-of-freedom-actually-has-a-costfl/ When I first spoke to my friend, she did not really know what would be helpful so we decided I would just come over for companionship. By the time the hour arrived, it became apparent what needed to be done and I was able to help her complete some tasks while we talked. It was a blessing and I am so grateful she allowed me to serve her. Like I have written before, it is often difficult to put a finger on what will really help someone who is chronically ill. It is hard for the ill person to identify it (usually because their thinking is fuzzy or because EVERYTHING is overwhelming) and it is hard for a friend or family member to know what to do. But this is also true in many areas of life's transitions: death, car accidents, house repairs, births, celebrations, etc . . . However, I wonder if the answer does not come until you just come? This seems to be a pattern in how God works: The sea divides when the Israelites step into it; The words are given when Peter steps up to speak; The widow's needs are met when she pours out her last oil. May I be transformed in my thinking and actions to just go when I am prompted and see what God opens up along the way. Why do I think I have to know His purpose and His plan to be obedient to His promptings? (smile). Our God is so mysterious and wondrous. His ways are truly above my ways. This same friend told me once, when her own husband was overseas serving our country, and she was nine months pregnant, a friend said, "I will either come to watch your kids or come to clean your toilets. I am going to come, you just have to decide what to have me do." This is service, this is friendship, this is modeling Christ. Christ served those who loved Him and those who hated Him. He did not wait for us to come to Him or even ask Him to come, but He pursued, served, and died for us. His purpose was to glorify the Father and to be obedient to the Father's will. Oh, Lord, grant me the steadfastness to follow this precious example of my Lord. May my hands and heart be ready to move at Your prompting.

Transitions and Clouds

Today, the sky is a brilliant blue backdrop for huge, billowy, silken clouds. For most of you this would not be worth commenting on at all, or maybe even noticing. However, for most of the past 12 years we did not have such sights of wonder. We lived in the plains of Montana ("rain" measured in hundredths of an inch) or in Southern California (clouds came in varieties of a gray blanket). However, I grew up in the Pacific Northwest and clouds were just like the ones I am experiencing today: Rich in shapes and drifting across the skies, inviting wonder and gazing at their majesty. The wonder of this vision causes me to consider IF it was my upbringing that makes me delight in these puffs of moisture or IF because our family lived in areas without them for so long or maybe it is a combination? For it is very likely that IF I had never seen these clouds, I would have never missed them. And if I always saw them I would take them for granted. Transitions do heighten my awareness and gratitude of certain things. When our grandson died, I noticed other little boys much more and delighted in their presence. Having children leave for college, to make their own homes, or to join the military, brings a certain sweetness to the memories and the phone calls and the times we enjoy together. Through God bringing these transitions into our lives we are more aware of other needs, our gratitude is strengthened and we long for our eternal home--where we will really feel at home and will see the familiar and new things that are beyond our imagination.

Grocery Stores

Who would have thought that grocery stores would have been one of my largest adjustments in our move to Louisville, Kentucky? Certainly not me. I should have been more concerned when my sister-in-law warned me that I would not find as fresh produce in Kentucky as I did in California. I thought certainly, with advanced trucking policies, this would not be an issue.She was right but the lack of fresh produce is a story for another blog entry. Well, we have lived here for two years now and I am having to decide, strictly out of necessity and sanity, to be content with such things as I have. Of course, contentment would please God and glorifying Him should be my top priority, but it is not always. Discontentment has caused me to check out all the stores in the area and to run around to many stores to get what I prefer at each. It has been hard on time and budget. And for someone who REALLY does NOT like to shop, it is frustrating. Instead of being grateful for a season of having a grocery store in California that I found everything I wanted, had great sales, good quality, helpful staff, and always plenty of cashiers--I became discontent with what Louisville offered. The apostle Paul encourages us to learn to be content. As much as I would like to say I have learned this, it is not true, as my grocery store scenario demonstrates. Therefore, along with my coupons, wallet, and shopping list, I will will plaster thanksgiving in front of my eyes when I shop and I will walk in trust that, though this store is not ideal, My Father is perfect and He will provide everything that I need. Of course, God prepared me to face this sin in that two friends, independent of each other, suggested that I read "Growing in Gratitude" by Nancy Leigh Demoss. He also reminded me of this blog as another friend shared with me how she is grateful in a difficult circumstance! God is so gracious in teaching me.

Marshall Protocol: The Action of Bacteria

FYI--I have decided to intersperse other posts with ones that are specific to the Marshall Protocol. When this happens, they will have an MP or Marshall Protocol placed in front of them. Feel free to pass them by, if you like. I really wanted this blog to be of things way beyond my health but the illness I have received and the protocol I am pursuing means it is a substantial part of what God has brought into my life at this time and therefore, to ignore it means I am not honoring Him in sharing how He is working through and because of these very circumstances. The Action of Bacteria This medical protocol has forced me to learn much about the action of bacteria. It is quite fascinating and maybe I would even find it more so if I was not dealing with the ill effects of it! One of the necessary impacts of curing my chronic illness is that the bacteria need to be killed. When bacteria are killed, they release poisons into the bloodstream making us feel BAD! In fact, many of the symptoms we try to minimize or cover up are exactly the result that our body is fighting (and winning) over that bacteria. Thus, I have noticed that when I take the small pulses of antibiotic, I have a resurgence of the very symptoms of my chronic illness. Though I cannot totally rely on anything there does seem to be a pattern: Day One of a new dosage level--Notice a impact in my digestive system however, I generally feel better overall. I suspect this is because the bacteria is just being killed and hasn't released its toxins yet or the antibiotic requires a second dosage to be real effective. Sometimes I need to increase Benicar to deal with the digestive symptoms. Day Two (no antibiotics)--Feel generally good (sometimes almost normal). Have to remind myself not to overdo. Day Three of the new dosage level--Oh, my. It does not take long and I am exhausted and brain fog increases.Light sensitivity also increases. I usually increase the Benicar to help me deal with the symptoms. Sometimes my adrenal glands go crazy and I cannot rest. Day Four (no antibiotics)--My body feels better but my mood and emotions are depressed. I have to talk to remind myself of God's truths so I deal correctly with life. After a few days at the new dosage, my body will stabilize. As I consider dangerous bacteria, I cannot help but think of the sin in my life. Sometimes I just get used to the sin so it does not seem abnormal for me. However, because God has made me a new creature in Christ, it is abnormal and I need to treat it as so. Many times I am not even aware of sin's ugly presence (just like bacteria) and that is when it is especially deadly because it is multiplying, taking over the normal functions of my life in Christ, changing its form or hiding deeper in my being--or I cover it up with busyness, good works, or blaming someone else. But here too lies a problem (just like the eradication of unhealthy bacteria)--to get rid of that sin requires the exposure and killing of the sin. That can get ugly! That is uncomfortable. God proclaims to us that if we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. People are astounded when I tell them that the Marshall Protocol may take 3-5 years to return my health. Chronic Illness bacteria do not go away easily. Chronic Sin also does not easily go away though God promises He will cleanse us. There is no length of time promises just a promise that He will do it (which is more than what the Marshall Protocol can do). "He Who began a good work in me will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus" Philippians 1:6 Resting in God's faithfulness and promise, will I submit to His eradication of sin in my life no matter how long and uncomfortable it is? As His child, with a new nature, I do not see how I have a choice. Let this medical condition and protocol remind me of my need to deal radically and persistently with sin.

Marshall Protocol: Minocycoline at 100mg

June 25, 2010

Minocycoline is at now at 100mg. Yes, I have continued to experience the "slug moving through water" symptoms. I did realize that this feeling was an indicator to increase the Benicar dosage to every four hours, at least for a brief time. This is very helpful. Sometimes I feel as a "slug moving through salt water" which alerts my husband that I am having a particularly difficult day.

Maybe it is the Dead Sea I am walking through?

Important Together Routines

My precious and very smart 4 year old granddaughter approached her mother with a very serious inquiry, "If I learn to read, will you keep reading to me?" Now that mother assured her that certainly she would continue to read to her, we suspect the 4 year old will quickly transform all those letters she knows into words she can read and stories in which she will delight in reading, even by herself. But any transition can be scary or difficult to tackle if you lose togetherness in the process. This brings forth the importance in reading in our own family. We read to our children constantly and spontaneously. But we also had certain times of the day that reading was just part of our routine. We read aloud just after breakfast and before the start of other activities. We had "reading" alone time where children would look at books quietly even before they could read them while others were reading the books for real. The end of the day was usually spent enjoying a family read aloud time. And when a child embarked on their own reading plan, they were allowed to stay up a bit later to read. We tried to change up some of these together routines for various reasons but I still remember trying to drop the morning reading time so we could use our morning energy on some serious school subjects that required that vitality. MISTAKE! Instead we felt out of sorts the rest of the day. Just last winter, I realized that our family reading time had been set aside in the midst of many transitions resulting in changing schedules. I know families change and adapt but I also noticed attitude changes and a disconnectedness occurring. So, we brought back our family read aloud time. We have read a variety of material, fiction and nonfiction, as a family. Sometimes it is the parent's choice; sometimes we allow a child to choose. Since one of our sons is joining the army soon, we are reading a military-based book. (I do miss "Blaze", "Good Night Moon", and "Make Way for Ducklings" when compared with bombs, helicopters attacks, and a list of other military jargon I would rather forget.) Our family reading time binds us not just in the time and stories but in the discussions that surround those stories. We learned about men of God, we challenged the ideas of evolution, we explored behind the scenes of the Cuban Missile Crisis, and changed our eating patterns. I know that my granddaughter will grow up in a house where reading aloud will always be a part of what they do and I am reminded to make sure it is something we continue to do, no matter the transitions. By the way, my husband and I usually do not read aloud to one another, but it is common for us to share in reading the same book. Right now, we are reading "Radical" by David Platt. I see us doing more of this type of sharing a book as our family transitions to more young adults unless the grandkids return then we will feast on "Tacky", "Go Dog Go", "Hop on Pop", and "Blueberries for Sal", followed by "Little Britches" and "Anne of Green Gables" and many more good friends we have discovered in books. We have other things we do together but reading has a special place in our family.So maybe it is not reading for your family but it is good to evaluate what are some of your unique "together routines" and to keep them going--and if attitudes are turning sour, maybe evaluate if those routines have been lost along the way.