Nativity Sets

As a child I delighted in setting out our Christmas Nativity Set. The colors were rich and the characters full of life. I am sure this memory played in developing my limited collection of Nativity Sets. It is a  blessing to set out the handcrafted pieces given to me by friends and the expensive set my husband splurged to purchase one year for me.

Over the years, these characters have been marred by circumstances. A wooden shepherd bears the marks of a dog teething; Mary's hair became tossed about; the baby's bed disappeared; a mouse nibbled at the cloth to get to the rice weighting the animals, a wiseman's raised hand broke off; my standing glass Joseph broke off at the knees.

As I set out these sets this year, initially I was sad about these defects until I contemplated that this probably makes them more "real". The shepherd fought to defend his flock; Mary looks more like the hospital pictures of a new mom, proud and disheveled; the baby found a home in his parent's arms; the animals required stitching; the wiseman's disfigured hand sent him into scholarly work; broken Joseph now kneels before the King of kings.

Funny thing is that when I returned to my parent's home for a rare holiday visit, I helped unpack the Nativity Set looking for the rich, colorful characters I remembered. They were not there! Though I was assured this was the set we have always had what I was looking at was inexpensive, broken, and falling apart. Maybe I viewed them as a child should-- with wonder. But as an adult, maybe I should realize that these marred pieces are probably more realistic than the Hallmark displays--and still view them with wonder.

Off the Marshall Protocol Reflections

The doctor convinced me this protocol was doing too much damage to my body so I have been slowly transitioning off of it. This takes awhile to do and it is not comfortable. Thanksgiving Day will mark the end of all the medicines involved in the protocol and the ones I had to take to get off the protocol. It has been a numbing time physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I am wondering what is round the corner.

3 years ago this illness developed. 2 years ago I started research on this protocol. 18 months later I am leaving the protocol with no clear direction except

GIVE THANKS IN ALL THINGS

So, thank You God for this protocol and the time I was on it. I thank You that You had Your purposes though I had other purposes.  This was an experiment to others but not to You. Thank You, God, for this time of transitioning off the protocol. You had purposes for the nightmares, exhaustion, drain, and numbness. Thanks for knowing what is around the corner. 

 

Viewing God in Trials

So many authors dealing with suffering and difficulties declare that God never seemed nearer and dearer than when a believer goes through trials. I certainly felt guilty whenever I read that because my view has been different. Many times I convinced myself that I must be doing something wrong because that is not my experience--though I would love it to be.

Imagine my comfort and hope when I read these words, penned by a saint:

"Behold, I go forward but He is not there, and backward, but I cannot perceive Him;

When He acts on the left, I cannot behold Him;

He turns on the right, I cannot see Him.

But He is unique and who can turn to Him?

And what His soul desires, that He does. For He performs what is appointed for me,

And many such decrees are with Him.

Therefore I would be dismayed at His presence; When I consider, I am terrified of Him.

It is God who has made my heart faint, and the Almighty who has dismayed me, 

but I am not silenced by the darkness, Nor deep gloom which covers me."

Job 23:8-9, 13-17

My soul sang with comfort: Someone wrote what was at the center of my weary heart in words I could not have expressed. In all that the Lord has brought into our lives over the past 3 years, I know that He has deepened my understanding that He is MYSTERIOUS. And if He is not choosing to provide that sense of His nearness and dearness, He has His purposes, and I can rest.

I pray these thoughts will  comfort others who get a different view of God than they expected.

Can I think?

I am contemplating the Little Engine That Could . . . "I think I can . . .I think I can . . .I think I can . . ." but it all seems to fall apart when you struggle to think. Today that struggle comes from my body which is complaining about something but I have no idea what I did or didn't do to it. But like those squeaky wheels, giggly girls, or crying babies, it has most of my attention.

I really do have some blogs I want to write. Now to gather the time coordinated with the energy and mental capacity would put those blogs to paper (or cyberspace).

In the meantime, God is reminding me that I have to depend on HIM to think.