Through God's grace, I went off the antibiotics in preparation for what was going to be a long emotional day. God sustained me with strength and a positive attitude. Thanks to all those who prayed. However, since we were traveling, I realized I had also been indulging in coffee and thought this might be affecting my body. After reviewing the information on the Martial Protocol site I understood better how coffee may be masking my symptoms and actually interfering with my immune system. So, I stayed off the antibiotics and decided to see how it would go if I went off the coffee as well.
The last two weeks have been the worst I remember for a long time. I am struggling to get up in the morning. I feel weak and often feel like I am going to pass out. Bright lights are a problem with increasing frequency. I am moving through molasses mentally and physically. I was already wondering if I needed to quit but I did not know what I would quit.
Last night was the worst. Terrible nightmares plagued my sleep, first when I cried out and then to the point where I did not want to sleep anymore but I forced myself to sleep some more. The nightmare crept back into my sleep and troubled my mind through the day. Going back to sleep was an act of faith--much like getting back on a horse that bucked me off (which I really have done).
Now the challenge is not to make a decision while I feel like this. I must pursue the present path in faith for now.It is a time of transition and I pray for a transformation.
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