Warning about Togetherness

Recently I was reflecting on our son's departure to the Army. I realized that I am experiencing what many people experience when they send their children to day care or kindergarten. I am missing our togetherness. This is something you have to be willing to face at some time in a child's life. Most people do it earlier, like when the kids are 6 0r 7. Because we have homeschooled through high school and have focused togetherness and the home as the center of the spinning wheel, I have years of full day (and sometimes, night) interaction with our children before they leave home as young adults. So, I am just posting this as a warning to those "together families", and because I have encouraged that togetherness, you have to be willing to face the transition of them leaving to pursue what God is calling them to pursue and know that their absence will impact your heart and life.

Will it help?

Recently I had the honor of helping a friend. Her brother-in-law was killed in Afghanistan, fighting to protect our freedom. http://icaskey.wordpress.com/2010/06/27/the-cost-of-freedom-actually-has-a-costfl/ When I first spoke to my friend, she did not really know what would be helpful so we decided I would just come over for companionship. By the time the hour arrived, it became apparent what needed to be done and I was able to help her complete some tasks while we talked. It was a blessing and I am so grateful she allowed me to serve her. Like I have written before, it is often difficult to put a finger on what will really help someone who is chronically ill. It is hard for the ill person to identify it (usually because their thinking is fuzzy or because EVERYTHING is overwhelming) and it is hard for a friend or family member to know what to do. But this is also true in many areas of life's transitions: death, car accidents, house repairs, births, celebrations, etc . . . However, I wonder if the answer does not come until you just come? This seems to be a pattern in how God works: The sea divides when the Israelites step into it; The words are given when Peter steps up to speak; The widow's needs are met when she pours out her last oil. May I be transformed in my thinking and actions to just go when I am prompted and see what God opens up along the way. Why do I think I have to know His purpose and His plan to be obedient to His promptings? (smile). Our God is so mysterious and wondrous. His ways are truly above my ways. This same friend told me once, when her own husband was overseas serving our country, and she was nine months pregnant, a friend said, "I will either come to watch your kids or come to clean your toilets. I am going to come, you just have to decide what to have me do." This is service, this is friendship, this is modeling Christ. Christ served those who loved Him and those who hated Him. He did not wait for us to come to Him or even ask Him to come, but He pursued, served, and died for us. His purpose was to glorify the Father and to be obedient to the Father's will. Oh, Lord, grant me the steadfastness to follow this precious example of my Lord. May my hands and heart be ready to move at Your prompting.

Together

One necessity for sanity during any transitional time is to go through it together. God designed us this way and called people to encourage one another in love and good deeds. He taught us the strength of a cord instead of a single thread and, most beautiful of all, He reminds us He will never leave nor forsake us. When I first began homeschooling in 1987, the emphasis was on learning together. Though some people selected to segregate their own children into grade levels, it was a more common practice to learn together whatever you could learn together. Part of the reason was the best resources, at that time, were not readily age-segregated. Education publishers were still wary of homeschooling so moms turned to their favorite low-cost alternatives--Libraries and used book sales! We located wonderful books that engaged our children. Family discussions (a.k.a. tests) happened because each member had something to contribute to a subject. The other reason had to do with TIME. If a mom was having to do most of the preparation, she could consolidate that preparation by having the children learn the same subject with minor adjustments to the level appropriate to the student. Sadly, people want homeschooling to look more and more like classroom schooling. This is understandable because it is what most of us are comfortable with because it is what we experienced and, honestly, a lot of homeschooling is now done without conviction so we pursue what is "normal". Now standardized, graded curriculum is widely available to homeschooling families. Not only that, the best sellers are those that teach the child directly or allow the child to work independently. This independent work ability has now reach a glorified status among homeschoolers and it is something that people express proudly. It is essential that our children can learn independently but don't our children innately learn about their interests independently without difficulty? Do we really need to teach them independence? God designed us to learn within a relationship: Father and son; Older woman to younger woman, Mother and child; Pastor-Teacher and the church. I am challenged if this principle applied only to spiritual things or am I willing to consider that it also applies to academic challenges? Wait a minute, one of the reasons we homeschool is to keep from separating the spiritual from the academic! Ah, together, even this we can do together in a relationship and be strengthened to love and good works, become a cord that cannot be broken, and remind one another that God never leaves nor forsakes us (even when facing that hard assignment!). Suggested Resource: Multi-Level Teaching is for YOU! (mini-book) by Joyce Herzog http://www.joyceherzog.info/Joyce_Herzog/Teacher_Helps.html Get her talk of the same title--inspirational and refreshing--below is one source of this talk: http://www.oceanetwork.org/tapes/speakers.cfm?id=31